Sometimes it is just hard.

It is an honour to serve the Lord and the Kekchi people in Guatemala.  I am always very aware of what a privilege I have to be here and share my life and faith with those the Lord chooses to put in my path.  So many times it is a joy and super fulfilling.  But, sometimes it is just hard.  

The past month has been a month of struggle for me.  We often have people come to our door asking for help and many times they need help with a medical issue.  The health care system in Guatemala is broken and the further out of the capital city you go, the more broken it is.  They say health care is free, but that is a misnomer - the only thing that is free is the bed, or I should say a bare mattress.  

The issue of infant malnutrition has been in my face recently.  We are surrounded by malnourished children, but I had not seen many infants that were starving...that is until recently.  

Within a period of a couple weeks, 4 such babies came into my life.  To be clear, I am not talking about a skinny baby or one who has been sick for a little while and lost a bit of weight.  I am talking about a babies that nothing more than skin and bones.  When I close my eyes, I can see them and it breaks my heart.  It is just not how it is meant to be.

I have felt a deep frustration and inadequacy as I have walked along side the local health clinic workers and the families of these sweet little ones.
   

In the "pediatric ward" of the Health Clinic, there is no running water and no soap, so no one, the nurses and doctors included, can wash their hands or the bottles for these fragile, at risk babies.  And so, infections run rampant. There also is no safe drinking water with which to mix the formula that these precious little ones need to survive and no way to heat the water up at all.  Add to that, no formula, no diapers, no diaper wipes, no food, no bedding, no medicine, no fuel for the ambulance in case of an emergency, and you get the picture of what free health care here looks like.  The people say it is the government's fault.  I don't know whose fault it is, but the reality is a broken system that isn't serving anyone's needs.
        

Now, you would think that in Coban, our department's capital, it would be better than out here in Chisec, but, sadly, it isn't.  They do have access to more doctors and specialists, but the funding necessary to run a hospital simply isn't there.   The entire situation is awful.
  

Working with the families has also been a challenge for me.  The lack of basic understanding is incredible.  Feeding an infant only rice water and sugar and thinking that would be okay.
I have struggled trying to make sense of it all.

And, yet, I am called to share life with the people here.  To share in their successes but also in their challenges.  To offer help, in love.    

I wish I had four success stories to share with you, but that has not been the reality.  Baby Edy - the 5 month old 8 pound little boy with a cleft pallet - died in the hospital in Coban.  He was scheduled for surgery in May and was being sent to a hospital to receive some intense nutritional care, but he got severe diarrhoea and vomiting and his little body simply couldn't take it.  

The nameless little baby girl - the 4 month old weighing only 4 pounds - is still in the hospital in Coban receiving treatment.  We have visited and continue to provide support and encouragement to Katalina, the mom.  Although she is receiving an intensified formula, unfortunately her situation was so severe when she came for help, the prognosis isn't great.   

The other baby, who we saw only once, disappeared with her mom shortly after being checked into the clinic in Chisec.  I think her mom was afraid.  I can only pray that the situation is improving.

The last of the four babies is really the only success story – baby Astrid.  This family lives close to our property in Canruja and we have visited numerous times, once with a health care worker, to encourage the mom and help her understand breast feeding and what her body needs to produce milk.  It is a long story, but the most important part is that mom is doing better and so is the baby!  Praise the Lord.  At my last visit, baby Astrid was no longer whimpering and looked bright eyed and attentive.   

I can't tell you that this has been easy.  Nor can I say I really feel good about a lot of how this has played out.  But...what I can say is this...I am learning that my job is to help where I can and to do it joyfully, not expecting anything in return – not even an improved situation.  I can only do what the Lord has asked me to do and the rest is up to Him.