Living in a Foreign Culture

Rocky and I have been reading, Foreign to Familiar, by Sarah Lanier.  Our pastoral care couple from CTEN gave it to us to read.  It is all about "hot" and "cold" cultures and how to live in cultures that are foreign to you.  As you can guess, Guatemala is a "hot" culture and Canada is "cold."  This is not just about climate, but also about relationships and customs within the culture.  It is funny, although, how the majority of "hot" cultures in the world also have hot climates. 
This book was written not just for missionaries working in other parts of the world, but for everyone.  Our world is shrinking more and more every year, and it is possible to encounter different cultures right in our own backyards.  The weird thing about culture is that we all assume ours is the norm and everyone else understands it.  Not the case! 
I'll use Rocky and I as an example.  We are pretty typical Canadians.  We are task driven and efficiency is something we appreciate.  Here, it is the opposite.  The people are more relationship driven and efficiency takes a backseat to creating a feel-good atmosphere.  A great example of this was at the border when we were trying to import our car.  After waiting around for about 4 hours, Rocky and I were getting frustrated.  As I was visiting with our tramitador (the man helping us) I noticed he was humming and seemed totally at peace.  I asked him how much longer he thought it would be and he had no idea, but it was his follow-up that really reflected the differences between our cultures.  He said, "Don't you just love it here in Guatemala.  No one is in a hurry or rushing around.  It is so much more relaxing.  When I was in the USA, everything was so rush, rush, rush, that is was very stressful.  Here, you know you are going to wait and so you just sit back  and enjoy the time to relax."
Rocky and I stared at each other and I replied, "This is stressful to us.  We don't understand why it takes so long simply to pay some taxes.  All our paperwork is in order and yet we sit here waiting.  What is wrong?"
He answered, "Wrong?  Nothing.  It is good that it takes a long time.  That means everyone is doing their job and no one is taking a short cut." 
Hmmm...interesting.
Around the topic of food, there are many cultural differences between "hot" and "cold" cultures.  For us, if we are offered food in Canada, but we are not hungry or it isn't something we like, we say no thank you and it is not considered rude or an offense.  It is totally okay to go to someone's house for a visit and if offered coffee and dessert to accept both, one or neither without offending anyone. 
Not so here.  If you are offered, you must, out of respect, take it and consume it.  If you can't finish what is given to you it is okay to put it in a bag and take it with you, but you never leave it behind.  It isn't really about the food at all, but about the relationship.  It also isn't important whether or not you like something.  Here, they eat to survive; they don't eat for enjoyment like we do at home.  It changes how you view what you eat! 
So, when we used to do home visits, we would not tell the families we were coming, because if we did, they would all have food for us.  One day we visited 4 homes after lunch.  We had already eaten lunch with the group, but at each of the four homes we were served a meal.  And, to honour and respect those families, we ate 4 more times.  At the last house we were feeling sick, but in a "hot" culture it is more important to show respect to your host than to be concerned about your own feelings.
This is true even amongst friends and family.  For example, when Rocky, Hector, Arryn and I were driving one day, we stopped at a store and bought a few treats - chips and nuts.  I opened my bag of macademia nuts and began eating them.  My automatic assumption is that if someone wants some of my nuts, they will ask.  Well Hector offered me some of his chips and I didn't want any, so I said not thanks.  He asked my why I wouldn't accept his offer.  When I said I didn't want any, he said, "Yes, but I offered you some."  You see, culturally, I should have taken at least a small amount...and...I should have offered him some of my macademia nuts when I first opened the bag. Oops!   
I wonder how many of you fellowship with, work with or live close to people from different cultures.  I also wonder how many of you have caused or felt offenses because of the differences between your cultures. 
For us, learning to live in a different culture is a process. We are blessed to be here, in Guatemala, and everyday, we ask the Lord to make us more sensitive to the people here so that we would not cause an offense that could be a stumbling block for the Gospel.  We are thankful for resources like, Foreign to Familiar, to help us in our journey.  I could be a help to you, too!